Questions
by KodiakWolfe13
Summary: Kids like to ask questions. Some are ridiculous, others are irritating, a few are shocking, and some make your head hurt. Bruce knows this all too well. (One-shot.)(For My awesome buddy, SweetyKinz.)(Part 2 of the "Oh Boys..." Series but you don't need to read part 1 to understand this.)


**Disclaimer: Don't own anything Bat related...well, that's not true. I do own PJs, shirts, jewelry, beanies, hats, costumes, other things with their emblems on them...**

* * *

 _Dick (9 Years Old)_

* * *

Bruce looked up from the important document he was about to sign to see his young ward entering his office. Dick's beaming smile was on his face, as always. The small acrobat was still wearing his school uniform and his backpack was slung over his shoulders. His hair was a mess, very different from the way it was tamed that morning with a full hour of brushing.

"Hey Chum. What are you doing here?" Bruce asked with the smallest of smiles on his face. He briefly looked down to sign the contract before sliding it over to a pile of other, already signed documents that just needed to be mailed now that he had agreed to their terms and conditions. Once that was done, he looked back up to see that Dick had crossed the room and was standing beside his desk with a beaming smile on his face.

There was a small laugh and the nine-year-old replied, "Alfred's going to the store and he didn't want me tagging along this time. He also didn't want to leave me at home alone either so here I am to brighten your day!"

Gotham's Protector snorted at that. He could understand both reasons for dropping Dick off at Wayne Enterprises so Bruce could watch him. After all, the last time the young acrobat had been taken to the store, he had woken Bruce up that night crying with a case of _buyer's remorse,_ of all things. Leaving Dick at home wasn't an option either, seeing as the last time they did that, they came home and found him dangling from the chandelier. No one wanted to repeat either incident.

"Alright. Seeing as we might be here for awhile, do you have homework you can do while we wait?" Bruce asked, tapping his pen against the desk as he turned his chair to more fully face the young boy. He put one of his ankles on his opposite knee and leaned back casually, ignoring the crap ton of work he still had to do. After all, it never seemed to disappear no matter how much time he spent on it.

Dick bobbed his head up and down at his guardian's question. "Yeah! But I have to ask you a very important question first."

"And what question would that be?" Bruce asked, bracing himself for anything that the youngster could say. He had quickly learned early on that an 'important question' translated into 'ridiculous question.' Anything that was important was asked at the dinner table, unless it was an emergency and had to be asked ASAP.

The acrobat's grin seemed to get wider, thinking himself a genius. "Can we build a candy store? Please please please~?"

Bruce raised an eyebrow at the question, not having heard that specific one before. It also wasn't completely off the wall, like the one where Dick asked if they could adopt an orca at Sea World or if they could go bull-riding in Spain. Sure, most kids would ask to _go_ to a candy store instead of _build_ one but Dick knew perfectly well just how much money Bruce had. A candy store wouldn't even make a scratch in his wallet.

"No." Bruce answered patiently, rolling his eyes.

"Aw, why not~?" Dick whined, pouting at his mentor adorably. His blue eyes became wide and glassy with unshed tears. His lips twisted into a sad, pathetic frown. The nine-year-old sniffled for good measure and his shoulders trembled uncontrollably.

More than used to the little actor's performance, Bruce only asked, "Gotham already has a bunch of candy stores. Why can't I just take you to one of those?"

"Because they all sell meth at night!" Dick complained, pounding his small fists into Bruce's leg. His sorrowful look didn't drop, despite the fact he knew it wasn't swaying the older's decision at all. The only thing that seemed to be able to was anything crime-related, which the small gymnast found absolutely ridiculous. His pout used to work on everyone at the circus all the time!

The Dark Knight frowned at the child's observation. "…fair point."

A small, hopeful spark lit in Dick's blue eyes and he smiled. "Does that mean you'll do it?"

"We'll see."

"VICTORY!"

"That doesn't mean yes!"

"It might as well, you crime-obsessed freak!"

* * *

 _Jason (12 Years Old)_

* * *

Skimming the articles in the paper, Bruce absently sipped on his coffee as he looked over the newspaper. Occasionally, he flipped the page to move onto the next set of articles waiting to be read. It was a quiet morning and the only sounds were of Alfred making breakfast in the kitchen, allowing a few moments of peace for the Dark Knight.

"BOO!"

Although the quiet never seemed to last long enough... The newest little devil made sure the manor was always buzzing with some kind of activity that was loud and rather obnoxious.

Bruce looked up from the paper to see Jason's grinning face staring at him expectantly. The preteen's hands grasped the arms of his mentor's chair, tilting forward so he was inside the older's personal space. His blue eyes sparked with mischievousness and it was obvious evil, rambunctious thoughts were running through his head.

"You can't scare me." Bruce said patiently, raising an eyebrow at the other. He took another sip of his coffee as Jason leaned back onto his feet with a pout, although it was ruined by the smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

Jason made a small growl in the back of his throat before he said determinedly, "But I will one day! I know I can if I try hard enough! And don't say it's impossible for you to get scared; I've seen Alfred sneak up on you! If he can do it, I can do it too!"

The Dark Knight patiently patted Jason's head sarcastically, responding, "While your determination- or is it stubbornness? –is commendable, Alfred is Alfred. He does seemingly impossible things every day. Sneaking up on me is one of those impossible things."

"Indeed it is, Sir."

Bruce jumped in his seat and mumbled, "Shit!"

Jason immediately started laughing at the flustered expression that adorned Bruce's face as he glared up at the old butler of the house. Said butler was wearing a pleased smirk on his face as he set two plates of food down on the table. He patted Bruce's shoulder reassuringly before beginning to head back to the kitchen, smiling as Jason called, "Nice one, Alfie!"

"Thank you, Master Jason."

The 'master' of the house only rolled his eyes, set down the paper, and picked up his fork. Jason cackled some more as he sat down in his seat but, instead of gorging himself with food as Bruce expected him too, he put his arms on the table and propped his head with one of his hands, looking at his mentor expectantly.

"Yes?" Bruce asked.

"You never did tell me what my dream meant."

"Good God, not this again…" Bruce muttered, facepalming at the thought of dealing with the boy's curiosity _again_. The night before, he'd been woken up by Jason and had been asked to interpret what the boy's dream meant. It took throwing Jason off his bed and yelling at him to get the cackling preteen to leave him be. He had half-hoped Jason would forget about it. Apparently, the fates weren't feeling kind that day.

Jason cackled again, much to Bruce's eternal irritation. "Come on, Old Man! All you told me last night was that I'm psychotic and have a skewed version of the people I have around me! There's gotta be more to an army of mini-Godzillas, you eating ice-cream, and Dick being a total _dick_!"

Bruce sighed, rolling his eyes. "Here's an idea. Why don't you ask 'the dick' yourself? He's the one who told you dreams have hidden meanings in them in the first place."

"Yeah but he's not a wealth of useless knowledge like you are."

"Knowledge is _not_ useless."

"It is if it's for a contingency plan for a bunch of other failed contingency plans that will probably never, ever have to be used."

"Why does everyone bag on my contingency plans? They could happen!" Bruce complained, rolling his eyes in irritation. He mirrored Jason and propped his head on his fist while glaring at the young, beaming boy. His free hand rested on the table lightly and he drummed his fingers against it in a show of his annoyance.

Jason gave the older male a look and Bruce recognized it as one of his when he was trying to be patient with the other person. "Bruce, you have at least six contingency plans for one different contingency plan. A mission can't be screwed up _that badly_ unless you're _trying_. Now, on to more important matters… Just tell me what my dream means already, dammit!"

"I don't know, Jason! I'm not a dream interpreter!"

"That's a lie! You're the fucking Batman, for heaven's sake! Knowing this crap is what you do!"

* * *

 _Tim (11 Years Old)_

* * *

Batman looked down at the newest of his sidekicks with a curious look as they stood on the edge of a building. Tim, all dressed up in the colors of Robin, was staring off into the distance, completely zoned out. His face was scrunched up into one of his contemplative looks, mulling over something the Dark Knight could only wonder about.

Looking between the buildings they were staking out and the quiet boy, Batman wondered if he had time to ask the new Boy Wonder what problem he was working on now. He quickly calculated that they most-likely did, if everything went according to plan. Turning his head back towards Robin, the Dark Knight asked, "What's the matter?"

Robin hummed, obviously wondering if he should tell or make up some easy, half-hearted lie. While it would be easier to just go ahead and ask the question that had snagged his curiosity firmly in its grip, it was also a little embarrassing. After all, what if other kids his age already knew and he was left in the dark? He was supposed to be a genius! How did he not know this?

Raising an eyebrow at the mulling boy, Batman called, "Robin, I asked you a question."

The ebony-haired boy waved his mentor off easily. An uneasy sigh left his lips, not noticing the way the look Batman was giving him for being dismissed by his protégé. Robin continued to be completely oblivious to the other's twitching eye as he said, "It's just a question I've been wondering all day. I wanted to ask my dad but it's a little embarrassing."

Calming his slight irritation, Batman took a deep breath before asking, "What is that you wanted to ask? It's probably not as bad as you think it is. It just seems that way. I bet your father wouldn't have had a problem with your question."

The Boy Wonder still seemed hesitant to answer as he rubbed his arm nervously. Robin made another hum, tilting his head to the side as he looked at the few stars that could be seen over Gotham's bright lights blocking the majority of them out. With a sigh, the preteen looked over to his waiting mentor and asked, "Where do babies come from?"

Batman froze up and blanched, looking at the preteen standing beside him with slightly widened eyes. He opened his mouth but closed it again with a _snap_. The Dark Knight continued to open and close his mouth again and again like a fish in need of water. Even so, not even a tiny sound came from the male's lips. He was completely speechless.

Robin tilted his head up at his mentor and raised an eyebrow at the response he was getting. If he squinted, he thought he could see the Dark Knight's cheeks slowly turning a light pink color but that was impossible. Batman didn't blush…did he? Robin had never seen him do it before, even in the most embarrassing of situations, and the Boy Wonder had assumed he was simply incapable of feeling embarrassment.

"Bats? Is everything ok?" Robin asked, tugging on the edge of the Dark Knight's cape to get his attention.

The Dark Knight chuckled nervously down at him- a bad sign. Batman stuttered down at him, not making an ounce of sense, which was another bad sign. Robin's mentor was even rubbing the back of his head, slipping into his Bruce Wayne persona without meaning to, seeing as Batman didn't have a way to deal with questions such as the one his young ward had just asked him.

Batman vaguely wondered what he had done with the other two that had asked him the same question. Ah yes, he had been with Superman when Dick had asked and he had sent the Boy Wonder off to pester the Man of Steel about his curiosity. When Jason asked, he had been wearing that amused smirk of his. Bruce had sighed, quickly piecing together that the street-boy had already figured it out, and flicked Jason on the head before leaving the room.

Both times he had been able to get out of answering such an embarrassing question. However, he couldn't do that with Tim. There was no one else in sight that he could send Robin after and the Boy Wonder _sure as hell_ didn't already have the knowledge like Jason did. He was stuck between a rock and an oncoming freight train.

"Batman?" Robin called again, tugging at his mentor's cape even more while the older scrambled to piece together a lie that wouldn't send Robin searching the internet for answers. The Boy Wonder sighed in impatience and asked, "What's wrong? I thought you said it wasn't going to be embarrassing!"

 _I said_ probably _and I didn't think it would be embarrassing for_ me, the Dark Knight thought to himself. His eyes became drawn to the buildings they were supposed to staking out and a light bulb switched on in his head. "We'll have to talk about this later, Robin. It's time to move. Oh, and don't go looking on the internet for answers."

Gotham's 'fearless' protector shot a grappling hook into the distance and jumped off the building, quickly retreating from the frowning preteen he had left behind. The Boy Wonder sighed, shook his head in annoyance, took his grappling hook out, and shot it into the distance as well. As he jumped off the building and flew through the air after his flustered mentor, Robin mumbled, "Yeah, he's not going to tell me."

* * *

 _Damian (10 Years Old)_

* * *

Bruce pulled back his cowl as the top of the Batmobile opened, allowing him to exit when he pleased. However, the Dark Knight of Gotham City stayed in his seat for a moment longer than normal, rubbing his head after a long night of wearing the cowl. His skin was slick with sweat and the cool air of the cave brushing against his flesh was a welcomed relief.

Getting out of the superb car, Bruce began making his way towards the changing room. He let his mind wander, mulling over the new information he had managed to gather from Gotham's crime pool. It wasn't much, just scrapings, but it was enough to help deduce where Two-Face could possibly pop up next. He _really_ needed to get the insane man back in Arkham.

As he was turning the corner, Bruce almost trampled the figure standing in the hallway, expectantly waiting for him. The black-clad man yelped but regained his bearings quickly by taking a step back from the figure standing in the hallway. Afterwards, a glare was firmly fixed on the other's calm expression and he said, "Damian! You're supposed to be in bed! You have school tomorrow!"

The tiny, little assassin shrugged casually, as if it wasn't a big deal. Bruce mused that it really wasn't. Damian had a tendency to read into the early hours of morning, waiting to hear his father come home. The Dark Knight always sent Robin home early so he could get some rest for the next day. It was something he had done with each of the Boy Wonders, even though some of them didn't go to bed as they were told.

Sighing again, Bruce asked, "What do you want?"

"Do I have to want something to see you?" Damian asked, batting his eyes innocently and attempting to put on an adorable smile. However, it still came out tinted with his typical haughtiness that no one could seem to break him out of. The only time he ever looked innocent was when he was sleeping or forcefully knocked unconscious.

Bruce only deepened his glare on the boy and answered, "Yes, you do. It's almost two and you're usually reading a book in bed while you try to keep your eyelids from closing. Now what do you want?"

Damian rolled his blue eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so. With a small huff, he replied, "I was reading a historical novel on the Holocaust tonight and I began wondering what would happen if someone were to go back in time and stop Hitler from becoming evil."

"You really mean not being born, correct?"

"Possibly…"

"Uh-huh. Go on."

"Well, after that, I thought about what I would do if I could time travel and then I became curious as to what you would do if you could." Damian explained, raising an eyebrow in question as he tilted his head to the side. "So Father, if you could travel through time, what sort of things would you do with your power?"

Sometimes, Damian thought about things just a little too deeply. Bruce wondered if he had asked such complicated questions when he was child, having had the same sort of curiosity as the boy standing in front of him. He couldn't remember ever doing that to Alfred but that could easily be a case of selective amnesia working in his brain.

"I wouldn't do anything. Changing events that already happened could lead to serious problems for the present." Bruce explained, shaking his head.

Damian raised an eyebrow at him and made a face that said he didn't believe his father. Bruce looked at him in confusion as the tiny assassin continued to stare at him expectantly and he asked, "What?"

"Really?" Damian asked dryly.

"Yes, really. Time travel is a dangerous thing." Bruce responded, glaring down at the preteen in his path. He moved his fists to his hips and took a firm stance, not giving into the boy. After all, he'd experience time-travel before and it was not fun. So many things could go wrong in an instant and fixing the problem was even harder.

The preteen frowned. "Let's think about this hypothetically then."

Oh God, they were going to be there for hours…

"Let's say you accidently find yourself with the ability to time travel and you go into the past to watch a certain event. What if you begin noticing that said event is happening differently than you learned it was supposed to go? Would you still remain inactive or would you jump in and try to find the problem?" Damian asked. He gave his father a look that said to go along with his theory.

Bruce sighed and replied, "No."

"Why not?"

"Yes, if I interfered, the event may line up with what the present believes has happened but, at the same time, you may screw it up further. The universe has ways of righting wrongs and that's when humans should just stay out of the way." Bruce answered, hoping his answer would satisfy the boy's thoughts for the night.

Instead of doing as his father secretly wished, Damian only frowned further and asked, "But what if you're the way the universe rights itself?"

The Dark Knight facepalmed. The heir to the League of Assassins only raised an eyebrow at the display.

Another long sigh escaped Bruce's mouth as he silently walked around Damian and restarted his journey to the changing rooms. To his dismay, the preteen turned and began following behind quickly, saying, "Father, you didn't answer my question! What if you're the reason the history of the world happened the way it did and, when you were born, you were destined to be sent back in time to make sure everything stays right?"

Bruce entered the changing room and shut the door. Raising his voice a little, he replied, "Wouldn't that form a paradox of some sort?"

"Hmm, possibly. Although, it may only affect that one person while the rest of humanity continues to move forward in time while he or she stays cycling in the past, keeping history the way it should be. However, if they were to attempt something different, the entire timeline could change. If that happened, do you think they would realize what they did?"

"Damian, maybe you should go to bed."

"If they didn't realize their mistake, the timeline would be stuck in its new form forever and then how would the universe right itself? Their failsafe would've failed and the failsafe wouldn't even realize that they had done wrong. The universe would be all out of balance and it might collapse unless…"

"Damian."

"What if the universe had a failsafe for its failsafe, like you do with your contingency plans? Of course, that person would somehow have to be unaffected by the change of the timeline and I'm not sure how that would happen. Either way, they would need to find the original failsafe and fix everything to restore the timeline to its original form. But what if the second failsafe failed?"

"Damian!"

"Could there possibly be an infinite amount of failsafes so the universe can stay righted? If so, would everyone know of the change in the timeline when it happened, despite the history books saying what they do? But no, that doesn't quite make sense because, say, if someone were to be saved from death, they wouldn't know any different. They would've been out of touch with the rest of the universe and-"

"DAMIAN."

"Why are you yelling, Father?"

Opening the door to the dressing room, Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned against the frame as his son blinked up at him obliviously. The Dark Knight gave another glare to the younger and said, "Go to bed."

"But-"

"We'll continue this discussion in the morning now go to bed!" Bruce rushed before the ten-year-old could interrupt him.

Damian frowned but sighed in compliance before turning on his heel, walking towards the stairwell down the hall. He said nothing as he left, which was fine with Bruce. After all, he just received a boatload of the boy's voice just seconds before as he rambled on about the possibilities of a person being the universes' failsafe.

"As if dealing with the other three and their questions wasn't bad enough…" Bruce muttered, once again rubbing his face as he sighed.

* * *

 **Gosh, Damian, why'd you have to go with time travel? My brain hurts now thinking about it... Time travel and paradoxes are so confusing, even though they're meant to torture Bruce! XD**

 **Hehe, this is a request from my fantastico twin-sissy, SweetyKinz! She wanted to see Bruce pestered with questions by the Bat-Boy and- BA-BAM! -this was born! It's a loose sequel to Children's Nightly Problems because of the same set-up and the references to that story. You don't have to read it though because everything is pretty self-explanatory. XD**

 **Hope you loved it, buddy! I wuv you so much~! You're easily my greatest friend ever and I hope you appear in my dreams again! :D**


End file.
